TrustvDoubt

• Last night I had a strange dream, I dreamt that someone in the past who had been my antagonist was being really kind to me, as though she wanted to draw a line in the sand about our differences. In the dream she was showing concern for me and offering help. When we parted she gave me a really big hug.
  • As you can imagine I woke up feeling warm and content. As I was getting myself going I pondered on the healing qualities and of the mind. It seemed to me that the dream was so real and yet I thought- would that ever happen in reality? I thought, probably not! The person in question was someone from work and her actions were out of character. Did this matter? , I asked myself and thought probably not. The dream had left me with the positive outcome that I wanted. The two us forgiving and moving on. This got me thinking about the power of forgiveness and the way it releases us from our past habit patterns. Most of us carry around bitterness and anger from the past and although , on the grand scale of bitterness, I was doing very well and had left go of the negative emotions I used to have about this person . My dream was like and message to move on even further. I pretended that the dream was not a dream made up from wishful thinking but was reality. I challenged myself to accept this as reality and reflected how I felt.
• It provided me with a deep sense of trust, hard to explain, other than I felt reassured that she no longer hated me! On my travels along the motorway that morning , I was struck by the comradeship and care of my fellow drivers; spurred on by my overwhelming feelings of trust. Part of my journey that morning involved driving along a very busy stretch of the motorway, whenever there was approaching danger, drivers’ indicated to each other by putting their hazard lights on to draw attention to a change of speed. As usual I did the same. Today I took more notice of the care and concern drivers had for each other’s safely and I felt strongly that we were all looking after each other and protecting each other. For the second time I experienced a lovely state of happiness and warmth. I wondered if my positive dream had set the scene for the day. Trust and it will be okay. Having had a wonderfully positive day based on my belief in trust, I would encourage each and every one of you to give it more thought and dedication. Think of an area in your life where you are doubting, see if you can detect, first the doubt and then imagine the problem from a position of trust. Feel the release of the negative energy! I truly had a wonderful day and felt really connected to strangers all because of a dream! I thought that it would be wonderful if I could feel that this each day.I then challenged myself to make other days as nice by practicing the power tool of trust v doubt – it is so powerful!

 

Great Expectations

I have recently started a two week holiday from my day job and on the run up to it I was contemplating all the things I would get done. At home, as at work, I am a compulsive list writer. It enables me to feel organised, allows for planning and most importantly for me, it gives me structure. Psychologists have discovered that when we make a list it releases a hormone in the brain that makes us feel good because it enables us to feel in control; which is very important to our general emotional well-being. Apparently, when we then tick off the completed task from said list, there is another hormone released which again makes us feel good. So off I go with me list making. My aim was to progress my ICA work;this was subdivided into the business side of things; my website which is in the throws of being constructed by me. Indeed, this is my second attempt using a different software. I had previously used Go Daddy who (on completion of my first website) informed me the day before I planned to publish that they were no longer publishing sites produced by that software! Admittedly I did fall into a mild dispondency which on reflection lasted for a few months.

I wanted to balance my holiday with” work”and”fun” The fun bit was my horse: Cherry Blossom and would involve having additional riding lessons to improve our dressage in readiness for some local competitions ( a first for us) a goal I had set two years ago. Other fun things included walks with my dog Harry and moseying about Charity shops,I confess to a small addiction here. For me it’s like a treasure hunt, you never know just what you may find! The other work included decorating my bathroom and gardening and de- cluttering my wardrobes. I had recently returned from staying with friends and they lived in a lovely minimalist home which prompted me to live more in the present. There was definately something quite liberating about living in a space not cluttered by the past. So I managed to get rid of four big bags of stuff to the Charity shop;well done me!

Then the best laid plans of mice and men went out of the window- my computer got a virus which corrupted the software I was using to build website number two and I lost it all again. Fortunately I am blessed with a wonderful computer technican who does home visits and once again I started from scratch!

Half way through my holiday I began to feel pressured and not on holiday at all! So decided to take myself in hand and give my self time to reflect and explore what I was doing, why I was doing it and what my perspective was. As I sat quietly one evening with a beer. I detected a UAC .I questioned the pressure I was putting myself under and came up with a revalation that I was worried that someone from ICA would notice just how long I was taking to complete the course. I was aware that sometimes I can feel envious of people having the time and space to really get involved with the discussion board. I love reading the discussion board; there is so much talent out there in our community,so much warmth and intelligence – it’s a real feel-good experience. I have been aware of this feeling before and posted a piece on the board about being like the tortoise in the hare and the tortoise story. I had shone previous light on this UAC of slowness and the association with slow and therefore not as good and explored the judgements I was making. This time I asked how likely was it that someone from ICA would tell me off! and my conclusion – not very likely !Jeez did I feel better! I was advised to get support from my computer technician’s business partner,which I did and reached a whole new feeling about the website.

• With support I felt that I had a team behind me and I was not going it alone.
• I realised that although not being a “quiter” is a positive thing;it is always important to ask for help.
• I realised that it had been like the blind leading the blind in that I had no idea about building a website!
• The process of getting help brought much lightness to my heart.
• I went on to progress the other requirements of my ICA training with a fun attidude.
• I listened to the teleclass recording put together by Karen and Cassandra and whilst listening, got my blog up and running.
• The website came along well and I had some new ideas about bespoke yoga coaching for horse riders, runners and office workers.

So what did I learn about this time away from the go-go of my normal working week?

• Don’t go it alone, ask for help.
• Watch out for those deep rooted UAC’s.
• The importance of letting go of the outcome.

My break from work is now coming to an end and I feel really pleased with the progress I have made on my ICA training and I even fitted in putting some questions on the board which, as per usual, were promptly answered and boosted my feelings of having a strong support network.

I can honestly say that once the UAC was addressed I have fulfilled me great expectations. Well done me! I even sqeezed in the nice walks with my dog and some riding lessons on my horse.